Trust Book 2: Trust, Love and Happiness, too. Pt 6
by Nikita
Title: "Trust, Love, and Happiness, too." Chapter 3.
By: Nikita
Series: 6/?
This is a sequel to my first series: "What We Need Now is Trust." Available at Down in the Basement, Slashing Mulder, or at my own website: http://www.koukla.net/nikita_slash
Spoilers: Season 7.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own the X-Files or any characters, plot lines, etc. They belong to Chris Carter, Fox, and the wonderful actors themselves. This is an unauthorized story for entertainment purposes only. I'm but a poor humble grad student struggling to make ends meet. Writing this stuff and keeping a website actually costs me money. But I do it as a labor of love.
Warnings: Slash. M/M relationship, sex, language. Schmoop, angst, plot, all the good stuff. Mpreg., aliens, etc. etc.
Feedback: Yes, please! nik_cleo@hotmail.com
Authors note: Yes, I know I love wordy titles... This is the sequel of my first Trust series. It continues almost 5 years after we last saw our happy little family...
^ Still means telepathic communication
'' still means internal thoughts
Alex and Mulder LIKE to dangle off of cliffs. Honest.
And now for our feature presentation...
Trust Series Book 2
Trust, Love and Happiness, too.
by Nikita
Part SixThey stopped at a small roadside diner for breakfast. Kat woke sleepily, but with a big grin on her face when she saw her two daddies in the car with her. At finding Kisa she squealed happily, Fox was relieved she seemed completely healthy and unharmed by the whole incident. The five of them went inside the restaurant. Mulder limped slightly and Alex tucked his hands in the pockets of his hooded sweatshirt. They weren't exactly inconspicuous.
They sat at a large booth, Katerina in between her two fathers, Scully and Skinner on the other side. Mulder helped his daughter order pancakes and sausage. She thought it was hilarious that they were called pigs in a blanket. He then ordered a large bacon, eggs and pancake breakfast for him and Alex to share. Alex had given him a look, but Mulder ordered anyway. Scully wondered how Alex was going to like being fed. She smothered a grin. She ordered a bagel and coffee, Skinner ordered steak and eggs.
Once the waitress left they fussed with their ice waters and juice. Kat was bored so Scully handed her a pen from her purse for her to doodle on the placemat with. None of the adults wanted to talk seriously in front of the little girl so they made awkward chitchat.
Breakfast arrived and they dug in hungrily. Mulder fed Alex forkfuls in between his own after he cut up Kat's pancakes for her so she wouldn't make a mess of it. Scully watched wistfully. She wanted to be doing that with her own family. She was embarrassed to feel her eyes tear up and quickly excused herself to the restroom.
Mulder watched her leave and realized guiltily that he had everything she wanted, but might not be able to have. He made a note to talk to her later, not that he could think of anything that would make it better.
Alex had eaten his breakfast tensely. He hated being fed like an invalid; he hated it even MORE that Skinner was right across from him witnessing it. He cradled his coffee cup in his two bandaged hands, but it was a little slippery and Fox quickly reached over and steadied it as he sipped, Alex glanced over the cup at Skinner. Suddenly he didn't feel humiliated so much as smug. The bastard was watching them jealously. Alex ate the rest of his meal with more enthusiasm. He kissed Fox's hand as he withdrew the fork and saw his lover grin slightly in surprise, clueless that it was partly for Skinner's benefit.
Scully returned, a slight color in her cheeks, but otherwise fine. She asked Kat if she needed to use the restroom. Kat nodded, her sticky hands were covered in syrup and Fox was grateful he didn't have to figure out which restroom he would have to take her to.
"Alex? Shall we use the restroom before we go?" Fox stood up, dropping his napkin on the table. Alex smiled and scooted out eagerly. Mulder wrinkled his forehead slightly at such enthusiasm, but followed him to the back of the restaurant. Skinner glared after them.
Once alone in the bathroom, Fox helped his lover use the urinal, it was obvious that this injury was going to be increasing the usual intimacy between them. Mulder felt nervous, he wasn't really sure why until he glanced into his lover's eyes. He found himself imagining black swirls, he jerked slightly at the image, causing their aim to be a little off.
"Fox? You okay?" Alex asked worriedly.
"Yeah. Sorry." He shook him off and then turned to use the urinal himself. Afterwards, they climbed into the car; Kat bounced around on the seat, eager for the trip.
XXX
They finally reached the cabin a little after noon. Scully opened the door while Skinner hauled out the luggage from the back. They each had a bag, Mulder tried to help, but Skinner just growled at him to go inside and lay down.
Scully showed them to the main bedroom, it had a queen-sized bed. The other two rooms were double beds and there was a foldout bed in the living room sofa. Mulder opened their bags and put the clothes and things that Scully and Skinner had packed for them into drawers. As he opened Kat's bag a small dark animal skittered out and ran across his hand. He jerked in surprise and then picked it up from the bed. The little mouse blinked up at him, sitting on its hind legs.
"Kat! Come here!"
Kat ran in and looked into her father's hand. "Sasha!"
Alex, Scully and finally Skinner came to see what the commotion was about. Scully raised an eyebrow; she was used to mice in the lab, but found them ill suited as pets.
Alex smiled gently, putting his hand on Kat's head as she held her mouse; he'd missed his namesake. "How on earth did he get here?"
"I guess he hitched a ride in Kat's clothes. Maybe he made a nest in one of her drawers or something." Kat was glowing in delight. She had missed him. They made another makeshift cage out of a small box with lots of air holes and set it on the dresser.
Scully told the two men to lie down and rest while she cleaned up and Skinner went to town for supplies and food. Kat insisted on lying down with them, so the three snuggled up in bed. Alex had protested the idea that he needed to take a nap like a child, but was fast asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Fox lay wide-awake, stroking Kat's hair as she slept between them.
'What the hell do we do now? We can't go back home...not right away. Skinner has to straighten things out there. And then there would be gossiping and rumors. I don't care, but Kat will be going to school soon... And how could I ever trust the police or the hospital again? It's not safe. Not to mention the aliens. But where will we go? We can't stay here forever, certainly not if Bill Scully is going to want to come here for trout fishing.'
Mulder focused on these thoughts in order to avoid an even scarier thought. He was scared to be alone with his lover. In the hospital it had been okay, they'd been drugged to the gills and worried about their child. Now...Mulder was actually a little grateful that Kat was there so he wasn't alone with Alex. 'How pathetic...using your daughter as a security blanket. What happens when you ARE alone with him? And it isn't fair to be afraid of him, it wasn't Alex, it was the oil. It's bad enough 'Alex' feels responsible when he isn't. What happens if he finds out I 'am' afraid of him?'
He rolled over on his back and faced the ceiling when an even worse thought occurred to him...his cycle was just a week or so away. What happened then?
XXX
Scully Cabin
November 26 2004
1:25 p.m.Skinner had returned with groceries, medical supplies and lunch and they had eaten the fast-food hungrily.
Finishing, Scully gathered the bag of supplies from the drug store and crooked a brow at the two men trying to avoid her gaze. She smirked and turned to their daughter, "Kat? How about you show Uncle Walter your kitten? Daddy Fox and Papa Alex and I need to talk alone for a few minutes."
Kat looked a little suspicious at this, but then nodded happily at the thought of playing with Kisa. "Okay, come on, Uncle Walter..." Skinner looked pleadingly at Scully, but she just smiled innocently back. He then glared and let himself be dragged by the arm into the living room.
Scully then turned back to her patients, "All right, boys, time to check and re-bandage your wounds. March!" They grumbled and stood, trudging to the bedroom with their heads down.
Scully closed the door behind them and pulled a chair up to the edge of the bed. "Okay, Mulder, let's examine that leg first." Mulder grimaced and tugged his sweatpants down, revealing his boxer shorts and his heavily bandaged thigh. Scully removed the padded gauze; the wound looked nasty, but was healing well. She cleaned it and smeared antibiotics on it with deft fingers.
Mulder was watching the treatment with morbid interest, he didn't notice Alex's blanch at seeing the deep cut he had inflicted while possessed by the oil.
Once finished, Scully then checked and cleaned his other smaller cuts. Mulder was healing well, only the thigh was likely to scar. She patted the last bandage closed and then motioned for Alex to trade places with his lover. Mulder stood and pulled his pants back up as Alex brushed past him and sat down. Scully snipped the end and started unraveling the mummified hands.
Mulder found himself holding his breath; he was worried that Alex would have permanent damage in his hands that would cause a disability. He knew that it would hurt Alex deeply to not have the full use of his hands...
Scully finished unwrapping and they were able to see the damage. His hands were an angry mottled red. But, as bad as they looked, the palms were less damaged than the backs of the hands that had been the area most exposed to the alien blood. The palms were more pink than red and were not peeling as badly as the backs. Alex's face was stony as he stared at his hands, his eyes didn't betray their horror. He just sat there staring at them as Scully slowly began examining the tendons for damage, gently flexing his fingers individually.
He flinched once or twice at a particularly damaged finger, but otherwise he was stoic. She finally spread the antibiotic cream thoroughly on his hands and then began the long task of wrapping them back up. Mulder had been frozen at the sight of the damage, but as she wrapped, he slid behind his lover and leaned against his back reassuringly. "It'll be okay, Alex." He whispered, feeling like a horrible liar. Alex was silent.
XXX
Scully cooked a small thanksgiving meal that night. Turkey breast, stuffing, yams and cranberry sauce made the house smell wonderful. They sat around the table, profoundly grateful they were all alive and well...and together. As they dug in, Mulder thanked her for making such a wonderful meal and she blushed slightly saying they had missed it yesterday, but it was better late than never.
Mulder cut and fed Alex his food, but this time Alex didn't seem to enjoy it at all.
That night, Skinner slept on the foldout bed in the living room so as to keep an eye on the cabin and its inhabitants. Scully and Kat took the other two rooms and Kisa inspected all of the beds until she settled with her mistress.
Fox and Alex lay in their bed together, close, but not touching. In the same bed, but worlds apart as they lay staring at the ceiling, each intent on their own thoughts.
Mulder worried about their living situation, his fears and his upcoming cycle.
Alex's emotions were raging a battle inside him. On one hand, he was profoundly grateful that his family was safe and he wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around Fox and hug him to him fiercely. On the other hand, he couldn't touch Fox.
Not just because his hands were damaged...that wasn't what bothered him. On the contrary, he 'deserved' the damage. He had let the aliens harm Mulder again. And they had used his own body to do it. He remembered the cuts on Mulder's body and felt a wave of anger and despair rise up once more. The thigh wound could have been life threatening, Fox had lost a lot of blood and the nerve or muscle could have been permanently damaged.
No, he couldn't touch Fox because he didn't deserve it and because he couldn't trust himself not to hurt his lover. He had a feeling that as much as Fox loved him, he may not be able to trust him again. He had seen the flash of fear in his lover's eyes in that restroom. He could feel Mulder's fear through the link that very moment. Mulder was churning with feelings of worry, dread and fear. Fox's feelings bled through the link, but his lover's thoughts were still shielded. Was Mulder afraid of him? Dreading his touch?
Alex turned on his side, away from Fox and curled into a fetal position, the horrible pain in his chest burned, just as his eyes burned, but he refused the release of his emotions, fearing he would not be able to stop.
Fox turned his head at Alex's change in position; he saw the hunched shoulders and reached out in the link timidly to see if his lover was all right. ^Alex? Are you okay? ^
There was no answer, but the resulting wave of anguish and despair from his lover made Mulder flinch. ^What's wrong? Alexei, tell me...^
Silence, but the emotions still raged. ^Alex, tell me what's wrong! ^ Mulder put a hand on his shoulder and Alex jerked out of his grasp. "Don't-!" he gasped, then remembered the other occupants of the cabin. ^Don't touch me. ^
Mulder frowned, ^Why? What did I do? ^ Alex shook his head, still not facing Mulder. ^Alex. Tell me. What did I do? Are you okay? ^
Alex flopped back onto his back, his eyes finally meeting Fox's imploringly. ^Not you. How can you stand to touch me? After what I did? ^
Mulder sighed, his shoulders slumped as he shook his head. ^Not that again. YOU didn't hurt me. The oilean did, and besides, I'm fine. You were the one that was really hurt. ^ Mulder reached and brushed a lock of hair from Alex's face. ^You were in a coma, 'lex. I was so scared. And your hands...^ he felt a wave of sorrow and guilt, ^God, your hands! I'm so sorry...^
Alex sat up, difficult to do without using his hands. ^I don't care about my hands. I hurt you and...now you're afraid of me. ^ Mulder had sat up with him, he blanched at the knowledge that Alex knew he was scared to be alone with him. He glanced down at his hands, twisting them in the sheets.
Krycek squeezed his eyes shut at the silent testimony to his worst nightmare. Mulder didn't trust him. Was afraid of him...
^No. Look, we've been through so much. We're tired...we just need a little time to get over what happened...^ Fox couldn't look into his eyes.
Alex stood, "Maybe I should go sleep somewhere else. I'll go sleep with Kat, or have her sleep in here with you..." Mulder looked up surprised and reached out his hand to stop him, "No!" he then snapped his mouth shut; they were going to wake up the house at this rate...
^NO. I won't give in to this. I love you. This is an irrational fear. I have no reason to be afraid. You've never hurt me and you never would. I'm just reacting to the situation and I'm always jittery before my cycle, you know that...^
Alex had stopped when Fox touched him; he completely froze at the mentioning of his lover's cycle. In all the excitement he had forgotten... He felt the usual thrill at the upcoming event, as well as worry for his lover and how they would handle this in a crowded cabin. He then focused his attention on Mulder, who was watching him nervously.
^You know I wouldn't hurt you. And you don't need to worry about your cycle. If you don't want me to touch you, I won't. I promise. I hate to see you nervous or scared, Mulder...^
Fox ducked his head, hiding a creeping blush; he never failed to be embarrassed of his mutation. Alex had meant his promise, but he worried about keeping it. Something he hadn't mentioned to Mulder worried him. With each cycle, Fox's smell seemed to grow stronger and last longer. He could smell the musky intoxicating smell that very moment. Until now he had been distracted and not consciously noticing it. Now, he was growing harder by the second, he resisted the strong urge to draw close and sniff his lover's neck. To lick and bite his skin and... He shook himself and focused on their conversation.
Mulder felt relieved that Alex promised not to touch him...not that he 'really' wanted his lover to keep the vow. But having it, it made him feel a little more secure. A little more in control of the situation. He lifted his head, knowing he was probably still a little pink in the cheeks, but smiling at Alex to let him know it was okay. ^Let's see what happens, all right? Now will you lay back down with me? We should be getting some rest...^
Alex nodded and climbed back into the bed, it was delicious torture to be so close to his lover, but unable to truly touch him. Mulder snuggled closer and lay his head on Alex's shoulder, closing his eyes. Alex squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to breathe in his lover's scent too deeply. He hoped Mulder hadn't noticed his raging hard on. Though how he could have, he didn't know. He lay for another two hours before he finally drifted off. His dreams full of maddening images of a naked, lustful Fox urging him to fuck him through his slit...
XXX
In the living room, Skinner stared out one of the windows, lost in the dark shadowy trees outside. He had just started to fall asleep when he had heard the muffled sounds of Mulder and Krycek arguing in the bedroom. It had ceased now, but for a moment he had been certain one of them would burst out of the room angrily. Now it was quiet and the light snapped back off. Apparently they had resolved the issue or decided to sleep on it.
He wondered what the argument was about. He also wondered why he had a raging hard on now. He had been aroused all day, half hard most of the time around Mulder. 'What the fuck is wrong with me? I should have more self-control than this. I've been hiding my attraction for the last couple of years. He's married and in love with that son of a bitch...I should be over this by now.' But he wasn't. He still wanted Mulder, sexually and emotionally. He wondered if he would ever really stop.
He left the window and lay back down on the sofa bed. The cabin was silent except for the humming of the generator. He debated, but finally gave in to a little self-release in the hopes of being able to better control himself in the morning. Sneaking a hand underneath the blanket, he hoped no one decided to get up for a midnight kitchen raid...
XXX
November 29 2004
7:30 a.m.Skinner was leaving soon for the airport; The adults were up sitting around the dining room table discussing last minute details while Kat watched cartoons in the living room.
"I've done all I can on the phone, I need to head back to D.C. and clear things up there. Agent Scully, your leave ends on Wednesday. If you need it extended, I will, but..."
Mulder interrupted. "There's no need, Scully. Alex and I will be fine. We're going to visit family in St. Louis and make arrangements there. Kat's starting school next year and I want to find a good school for her. As for Alex's hands, well, we'll find a good doctor."
Scully looked like she wanted to argue, but reluctantly nodded. Skinner finalized the matter with a brisk nod as stood to leave, Scully stood as well, since she was driving him to the airport.
"Alex, let me check your hands again and put some more antibiotics on it." Alex followed her into the bedroom. Skinner picked up his bag and headed outside to put them in the trunk. Mulder finished filling a travel mug with coffee and followed him outside.
"Here, sir, you look like you could use some more caffeine." Skinner shut the trunk and turned to face him, his eyes were slightly reddened and puffy. Mulder wondered if he had had trouble sleeping.
"Thank you, Mulder..." he looked like he was going to say something else, but instead he shook his head and walked over quickly to where Mulder stood and grabbing his arm, he pulled him into a passionate kiss.
Mulder's eyes bugged in surprise, his mouth opening in protest, only to find Skinner's tongue invading his mouth. Mulder nearly dropped the coffee, a small amount leaked from the lid of the mug as it tipped dangerously. Mulder's other arm was braced against Skinner's shoulder pushing weakly, but he was too surprised to be effective.
Skinner finally ended it and they stepped back from one another and gasped and heaved as if they had run a marathon. Mulder gulped and tried to catch his breath.
"Wha- What are you-"
"I had to. I've wanted to for so long. And then I lost you in that forest..." Skinner's voice broke; his red-rimmed eyes shone with unshed tears. "...and then you were back...but with HIM and... I'm sorry. But I had to...just this once." Skinner then turned on his heel and stalked to the passenger door, yanking it open viciously. Mulder started for the car when he heard the door of the house open and Alex and Scully talking as they stepped through it.
Mulder walked up to the passenger window, it was rolled down so he handed Skinner the coffee mug.
"Thank you for all you've done for us, sir. Have a good flight." Mulder said in a normal voice. ^I won't say anything to Alex, but I suggest you not try that again. He would kill you. But I do thank you for helping us... And, Walter? It 'wasn't' your fault I disappeared that day. Anymore than it was my fault that Samantha was taken. Don't blame yourself. ^ Mulder dropped his gaze from Skinner's and turned to his lover, wrapping an arm around Alex's waist.
Skinner nodded sadly and faced forward. Scully waved at Kat who was watching from the window and climbed into the driver's seat. She scooted the seat up all the way and put the key in the ignition. Skinner didn't look up until they had left the driveway...he was quiet the entire drive to the airport.
XXX
Alex watched the car drive off and turned to his lover, giving him a tentative kiss. He was relieved when Fox didn't flinch and kissed him again, a little harder. His lover seemed dazed. ^Are you okay? ^
Fox snapped out of it and smiled at him. "Yeah, I just realized that it's just you, me and Kat. Kind of nice to have just the three of us. How about we do something together?" Fox tugged him to go inside, "It's cold out here...how about a fire?"
Alex frowned, but followed him in. Fox was still chattering as they went inside. Looking down at his freshly bandaged hands his relief turned into fear. With Scully and Skinner gone Fox and Kat were vulnerable. How could he defend them without his hands?
XXX
Scully returned that afternoon with groceries. Mulder helped her bring them in and Kat 'helped' put them away. Alex watched from the doorway. As she brought the first bag in she noticed a relieved look on his face before he turned away. She wondered why he would be so happy to see her?
They made a quick dinner and Kat dragged her into the living room to play Candy Land with her. A game Scully remembered playing with her sister, Melissa. In the kitchen, Fox washed dishes while Alex read an article from the newspaper to him. Scully had bought it along with a couple of magazines and paperbacks.
The article was about the latest findings in car accidents and supporting statistics. Mulder had a faint smile on his face as he listened to Alex emphasize the statistics about tired drivers. He turned and swished some dishwater bubbles at his lover who ducked, grinning at him.
XXX
"...Mari, I'm 'telling' you 'now.' I'm sorry, but we couldn't call you before bec-" Alex halted as he tore the phone away from his ear. Fox could hear the scolding from across the bed. He hid his grin in his book and stifled a chuckle. Mari Krycek was furious that her brother-in-law hadn't called the 'second' they had been hurt. Not that she knew the full story, though.
Alex told her that they had been in a car accident. Alex had been driving with Mulder in the passenger seat. Mulder had been cut by the glass and metal, while Alex's hands were burned as he dragged his lover out of the car as it caught fire. It was a horrifying story, but it explained the injuries and they didn't want to admit to another intruder in their home again. Kat had been at her friend's house and never in any danger.
Mulder had told Kat that they weren't going to talk about what had happened in North Carolina. Mulder refused to lie to her or tell her to lie, but he just said that it would upset the Kryceks to hear about it. Kat had nodded solemnly and promised not to tell. Alex reinforced this by telling Mari and his sisters that Kat had been a little traumatized by them being in the hospital and it was best not to talk about it and upset her.
So, secrets and lies firmly in place, Mulder and Krycek made plans to go to St. Louis once more. Alex had tried, but failed, in getting them a hotel room, his sisters had insisted he stay with family, so they were staying with Anya and her husband since her children were away at college and she had two rooms free.
Alex finally hung up the phone an hour later, exhausted from talking to his family. Nikolai hadn't come to the phone, but Alex knew that he cared; he just wasn't the type to let it show.
He snuggled up to Fox who was reading some paperback that Scully had picked up at the store. Alex laid his head on Fox's chest and rested one of his bandaged hands on his lover's stomach. Mulder turned a page and then threaded the fingers of his left hand in Alex's sable hair.
^Fox? ^
^Hmm? ^
^I was wondering... ^ Alex had second thoughts about what he wanted to say, but he knew that it had to be said.
Mulder set the book down on the bed and took his glasses off, setting them down on the bedside table. ^What? Tell me. ^
^...Your cycle begins soon. And I- I want to fuck you, here. ^ Alex lightly rubbed Fox's belly with his bandaged hand.
Mulder was silent. Alex regretted bringing it up. They had just gotten comfortable together again and he had ruined it.
^...All right. ^
Alex lifted his head, ^Are you sure? ^ He was trying not to sound too eager, but he was suddenly incredibly hard, he looked up into Fox's eyes and saw an answering lust in his darkened hazel eyes.
^Yes. I want you to. ^ They kissed, passionately; Mulder lifted his shirt and then helped Alex with his. Fox leaned down and licked and sucked Alex's nipples, blazing a wet trail down to his navel as he tugged Alex's drawstring pajama bottoms down. Alex moaned, his head turned to muffle it in the pillow next to him. His hands itched to touch his lover. He groaned in frustration, but Mulder gave him a new reason to groan a moment later when his mouth engulfed him.
XXX
December 1 2004
3:45 p.m.Mulder, Kat and Alex boarded their plane to St. Louis. Kisa was in a cat carrier in cargo area and Fox had Sasha in his coat pocket with a little food and a handkerchief. Scully had left an hour earlier on her own flight to D.C. Mari and Nikolai would be picking them up from the Lambert Airport in St. Louis.
Kat bounced around excitedly as they waited for the plane to take off on the runway. Once it was in the air, she fell asleep, half in Fox's lap, who was also dozing, head tilted back. Alex smiled, 'like father, like daughter.' And turned back to his magazine. He was nervous about staying with his family during Fox's cycle. He figured he would have to make up some excuse to get them a room at a hotel. He'd have to figure out someone to baby-sit Kat while they had a little time to themselves.
He was nervous, but he was also incredibly excited. In a few days, he would make love to his lover through his slit for the first time. He wondered if it would result in a brother or sister for Katerina?