"What We Need Now is Trust, Part Two"
by Nikita nik_cleo@hotmail.com
Spoilers: Season Seven. And only season seven, got it? There was no season after it in my book.
Summary: Aliens and Krycek and Mulder, oh my!
Series: 2/?
Pairing: M/K
Warning: Slash, if you don't know what that means chances are you don't wanna know, go watch an x-file repeat and stay safe from my twisted version. Contains m/m hurt/comfort, romance, schmoop, and sex...at some point or another. And mpreg (happy now, I've spoiled the surprise!). If this squicks you go away, go away! One more note: ^ means telepathic communication
Important additional warning: This is my first attempt at fanfic and my first posting to boot. It probably sucks, it's unbeta'd and well...since you're still reading you seem to be a tolerant soul, give it a try, hmmm?
Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Files or any characters or plot lines associated with it. Chris Carter and the wonderful actors (especially Duchovny) do. I'm not making any profit off this story or the characters within. Don't bother suing, I'm a grad student with lots of student loans...I haven't got a penny.
What We Need Right Now is Trust
by Nikita
Part TwoThe rebels considered themselves more 'humane' than the colonists. They'd saved mankind from mass slaughter, enslavement, and from being hosts to alien hatchlings. The rebel aliens didn't want to colonize Earth. Not now, anyway. But in furthering their goals of their continuing war with the other aliens they were ruthless in seeking knowledge about the colonizer's experiments and advances. During battle over Earth, the hybrids and other various experiments by the consortium and colonizers were destroyed at all costs to cripple the opposition. Now, they could afford to study a hybrid up close. Learn what they could, do some experimenting of their own and when they were done...dispose of the evidence.
They'd examined Mulder thoroughly. From what they could tell, he was the most advanced hybrid the consortium had achieved. The most human-like. His blood was red and seemed human, no human medical tests were likely to refute that unless they knew what to look for. His telepathy was highly prized in a hybrid. Difficult to engineer, it required a strong mind and will. There was evidence of tampering in the telepathic receptor area of his brain. Further examinations revealed the consortium's meddling that had damaged the area severely. But even more astonishing was the evidence of accelerated healing taking place currently. The rebels figured that the colonizers had been 'reawakening' the telepathy, but it wasn't finished healing, yet since Mulder remained 'silent.'
So now the rebels finished cataloging the current advances in hybridization and found something 'intriguing.' Apparently new changes in the hybrid's body were being implemented before he was 'rescued.' The rebels, noble scientists that they were, decided to complete the changes and finish the experiment themselves in order to keep abreast the colonizer's new techniques.
Hybrid 1013, as they had designated him, was returned to his new cell to await the next stage in their experiment. He was to be kept separate from the pure-human agent 319 that was awaiting return to Earth. There was some concern of attachment between the two as observed in cell 5 prior to their separation. But the rebels were sure that isolation would break any bond existing and allow their experiment to continue smoothly. And that was imperative in the pursuit of their knowledge.
X
Krycek paced the cell for the umpteenth time. He carefully counted his paces, 'one, two, three, four, turn, one two, three...' His claustrophobia was swelling to proportions he was sure would soon have him clawing at the door screaming for release. The last time he'd had it this bad was back in the silo. Thinking he'd die of thirst alone and covered in oily residue in an abandoned missile silo with only a ufo for comfort had caused him many insomniac nights on long walks outside under the stars. The dank air of the rebel ship was stifling and as he paced he imagined his lungs unable to expand fully and unable to get enough air. Krycek started hyperventilating...struggling to get air...precious air into his starved lungs. He collapsed in mid pace and was rocking on his knees...his pants becoming more and more panicked as he struggled with himself.
'OhgodohgodI'mdyingIcan'tbreathIcan'tbreathe...'
^Krycek!^
'Ican't...Ican't...'
^Kry-Alex! It's okay. You can breathe, calm down. It's me, M-Fox. It's Fox, calm down.^
^Fox? Mulder, what are you...I can't breathe! Let me outta here! I can't breathe!^
^Yes you can. Shh... Slow down...that's it. Breathe slowly, calmly. It's okay. You're doing fine...^
Krycek forced his breathing to slow down, tears streamed unheeded down his cheeks. He was feeling so tired, emotionally wrung out, but so grateful for having Mulder's voice in his head. It didn't hurt like the aliens, it felt soothing, warm even. He didn't even question Mulder's telepathy. He knew Mulder'd experienced it before with the artifacts. He remembered seeing Mulder writhing on the floor in pain as he ran up the stairs. Guilt washed over him as his breathing slowed to its normal rhythm.
^That's it, are you okay now?^
Alex stifled the guilty feelings he'd awoken and wiped the tears off roughly with the back of his hand. ^Yes. Thanks. Where are you?^ Changing the subject as quickly as possible he focused on the present.
Mulder seemed to accept that and he answered, ^Another cell, nearby.^
Krycek frowned, Mulder's voice now sounded quieter and wary as if tired.
^Are you okay? What did they want with you?^ He wondered if Mulder knew what they were planning. He didn't sound angry or scared, just tired. Krycek's anger spiked, why were they doing this to Mulder? The man had been through enough...
^Oh, I'm fine. Just tired. I think I should sleep. Goodnight, Alex.^
^Mulder? Mulder?!^
Silence.
Krycek sighed and crawled over to his own hard shelf of a bed. It hadn't slipped his notice that Mulder hadn't answered his second question. What had they done to him? He'd seemed okay...just tired and damned secretive. But he'd been so soothing before. 'Geez, I completely freaked out. And he could 'hear' me! Knew I was panicking. Definitely not a good thing to happen right now, but there's not a damned thing I can do about it. Best to ignore it and move on.' Yet Mulder'd been so calm, understanding. Talked him out of it. 'Well, he's a profiler; he just talked me off the ledge so to speak. Doesn't mean a damn thing so quit thinking about how nice it'd be to have him next to you right now. It's cold and it's lonely...fuck it. Mulder's probably snoring away in his cell and I'm here longing for him. Christ, get over yourself.' With that he rolled over and closed his eyes, determined to forget his temporary insanity.
*X*
Mulder sat shuddering in his cell hugging himself trying to calm a panic attack of his own. He'd shut Alex off before he could start blurting out the truth of what they'd done to him. He was scared...far more scared than ever in his life. His body was not his own anymore, the life inside of him was growing faster than the normal human rate, already it fluttered within him. He had no idea how long he had until it was ready to be born, but he knew that when it was he and it (he refused to think of it as his child) would be killed. They planned to dissect them and study them. He heard every bit of their plans. Their telepathic abilities where less sophisticated than the Grays or the colonizers. He could tell they underestimated his ability to understand them. They thought he was still recovering and couldn't 'hear.' He used this to whatever advantage he could get. He played dumb, made them 'force' their voices into his head like they did Krycek's. Let them believe he was a harmless lab rat.
'Well, I am. I can read their minds and intentions all I want. It doesn't get me any closer to home. I'm stuck here. Even if I could escape, where would I go? Back to Scully and the FBI? They'd just find me again. And the...the baby. What about it? Scully'd run tests, find out I'm not human...I don't think I can face her right now. Certainly not pregnant. And work. What've I got to go back to? I read some of Krycek's mind, the X-files aren't mine anymore, Doggett, Reyes, and Scully are running it. I'm a freak and a useless one at that. And Alex, god, I can't let him know about this. He'd...I don't know HOW he'd react and I don't want to think about it. They're going to let him go. Maybe I can get out of here at that time, too.' Mulder's exhaustion finally won out and he fell into a fitful sleep.
*X*
The rebel scientists had a glitch in their experiment. They'd separated the two alien beings to break their connection. And they'd found it had succeeded. Too well. Agent 319 paced his cell regularly, his agitation so distasteful the rebels blocked off telepathic reception to contain his mental anguish to his cell. Thus, they maintained only visual surveillance. Hybrid 1013, on the other hand, remained curled up on his cot, refusing sustenance. The experiment demanded that the hybrid remain in good health in order to be successful. Data might be corrupted or lost if the hybrid's health failed before completion.
In discussing possible solutions, the scientists argued over how best to force-feed the hybrid without causing undue damage. In the midst of the silent, but furious argument between two rival scientists, one rebel that had been closely monitoring the two 'aliens' decided to inject his own idea. He suggested that since the separation, both subjects had begun to exhibit negative behaviors they had not previously. Perhaps allowing them to integrate in one cell again would allay the behaviors and the experiment could resume.
After much argument it was finally settled that this solution would be tried, but if it failed, the two would be separated once more and the hybrid force-fed for the duration of the experiment until he cooperated.
*x*
Krycek paced his cell once more. Although he still felt closed in and had an intense need to pace, he felt calmer since Mulder had 'talked' to him. As much as he hated the weakness that Mulder now knew he had, he was surprised to realize that he was grateful to share that fear. Even if for a moment and even if it was to an annoying, wisecracking son of a bitch FBI agent. A damned sexy agent, his pouty lips and expressive eyes, 'shit, stop it Alex! You're just horny 'cause you've been locked up so long. Stop thinking that way. The man can read your mind.' With that Krycek turned his focus onto another thought that was worrying him. Mulder had seemed so wary and reticent once he'd calmed Krycek down. What was wrong with him? Did he know the rebels plans to exterminate him? That had to be it. Maybe it was best Mulder hadn't wanted to talk to him about it. What was he supposed to say? Gee, I'm sorry? No matter how he wracked his brain he couldn't think of a way off the ship with Mulder. He just didn't have the right cards. Hell, he didn't have ANY cards. The rebels were well and truly in control of the situation. Bastards. He hated this feeling of helplessness. Ever since he'd come out of the boot heal of that Cancer-ridden SOB Spender he'd promised himself that he wouldn't let others control him again.
Plopping down on his cot with a curse he decided to try to contact Mulder. He didn't know what he'd say, but he was going stir crazy and there was nothing else to do. 'Sure, Alexei, you just keep telling yourself that. It has nothing to do with the fact that you can't stop thinking about him!'
^Mulder? Hey, Mulder, you there?...Come on, Mulder, you snubbing me now? There's no one else to talk to around here. Except our lovely hosts that is. I don't find them very stimulating conversationalists, though. Mulder...hey, Mulllldeeer (sing song tone he knew would drive Mulder nuts)... Whatcha doin'? Hey, Fox! Cat got your tongue? I've never known you to be so quiet. You usually talk the hind leg of a mule. Hey, Mulder! Are you-^
^All right, all right, shut up! I'm here. What do you want?^ Despite his words Mulder seemed lackluster and barely there.
^What do I want? I wanna talk. What else is there to do? What's wrong with you?^
^ <Sigh> Nothing. I'm just tired. What did you want to talk about? Politics? Girls? How about Basketball?^
^I don't watch much sports, sorry, haven't had the time the last few years. Politics? Phht! No thanks. Girls? What makes you think I wanna talk about girls? Now guys...^
^Umm...^ Mulder was saved from his witty retort when the door to his cell opened to admit three rebel aliens.
^Mulder, what's-^ Mulder broke the link as unobtrusively as possible hoping it hadn't been noticed. Apparently it hadn't since they simply informed him that he would be changing cells again and to cooperate.
As they moved down the hall, a rebel holding on to either arm, Mulder noticed Alex being 'helped' from his own cell. The aliens then pushed them both into their original cell and sealed them back inside.
Although the rebels had been fairly gentle, Mulder still stumbled when let go. Krycek caught him and held on to his elbow even after he'd regained his balance.
"Are you okay, Fox? I mean, Mulder?"
"Yeah, look, if you really must, you can call me Fox sometimes, but I really prefer Mulder usually. Looks like were back in home sweet home." Mulder waved his free arm to indicate good old cell 5.
Alex, meanwhile, was a little stunned at Mulder's allowance of using his first name. NO ONE got to call him Fox. Not even Scully. 'Okay, now I AM concerned. This is completely un-Mulder like behavior. And he looks so pale and thin. More than before and that's saying something. I need to get him to lay down and eat something.'
Krycek miraculously got Mulder to lay down on the nest of blankets while he looked through their cache of food waiting by the door. Mulder watched through slitted eyes as Alex 'puttered' around. Damn, but it was comforting to be with Alex again. 'Well of course, he's human and you've been alone so long. Besides, he doesn't know. If he did he'd be disgusted and probably angry. I don't want him to know how much more of a freak I am now. Best to let it go. I'll just have to figure out something on my own.'
Alex finally got Mulder to eat a little and watched as the older man drifted off as soon as he finished. 'Fox needs a little coddling right now. It's no skin off my nose if I help him. I've got nothing better to do.' Still, he felt a special thrill at using that name. Maybe things weren't so hopeless between them. 'Fuck, who are you kidding? Look where we are. I'm going to get him out if it's the last thing I do. Fuck the rebel bastards, we're getting off together or not at all. No one tell me what I can and can't do.'
What Alex didn't realize was that his thoughts had sunk into Mulder's and had woken him enough to hear all of this. What a complete surprise, Alex CARED. Reading beyond the conscious thoughts, Mulder could sense the depth of Alex's feelings that he didn't voice even to himself. He wasn't sure how long Krycek had felt like this for him, but he knew that it was far stronger than he wanted to admit. And getting him off this ship no matter what...Christ, he'd had no idea Alex would do that for him. A wave of guilt flooded him. He had to tell Alex what was going on inside him, now. He couldn't keep the truth from him. The truth was so important. And so was trust. He was beginning to think that he could trust Alex Krycek with his life...maybe even his feelings. If so, he had to trust him with this secret. If it drove him away...well, he'd be no worse off then before, right? 'All right, so I tell him. But when? If I tell him now he'll be upset. So much so that he may let it leak to the rebels. And what if they decided he's a liability? What if they killed him? God, I can't endanger him. Maybe when we get off the ship...if we do. Then I'll...I'll figure out how to tell him. I'll worry about it then. I'd better get as strong as possible, then. Make them happy, eat enough, get strong enough to kick their ass!' Feeling far more positive than he had since his abduction, Mulder fell into a restful doze, a small smile on his face.
Alex noticed this and wondered at that smile. Mulder was so pale, so damaged, yet so beautiful still. He was reaffirmed in his vows. He'd get Mulder healthy and off the ship. And maybe, maybe he'd like to come with him to a nice secluded island? 'Sand, sun, and Mulder, mmm.' Alex lay down next to Mulder, then hesitantly, he curled around the other man, resting his arm lightly over Mulder's chest and was pleasantly surprised when Mulder snuggled up closer, his face turned into Alex's chest with a soft sigh. Smiling slightly, Alex closed his eyes and dreamed of slathering coconut-scented lotion on a hot tanned Mulder.
*X*
The rebel alien watched as the two 'aliens' curled up in the nest of blankets. His 'solution' seemed to be correct so far. The hybrid had eaten and was resting along with the pure-human who had ceased his anxious pacing. As he continued to watch he decided to 'peak' into their minds. The other scientists felt their emotional disturbances earlier warranted telepathic isolation for now, but he rarely listened to convention. He wanted to understand the two better. They had become somewhat more than an experiment to him. Although he knew he was losing his scientific objectivity, he couldn't seem to help it. 'Listening' he saw their dreams and felt their hopes and desires...and their plans to escape.
He had something of a dilemma. On one hand he must immediately report his findings and prevent their escape. On the other hand, he wanted...he wanted to free them. He knew at that moment that he could no longer allow this abomination of an experiment to continue. The two inside may not be of his species, but they were still sentient beings capable of great passion and emotion. Something he felt his own species was beginning to lack. This war had taken a great toll on his people. Their single-minded focus to defeat the evil colonizers was costing them their compassion. Something they had once prized. He decided he must be the one to start his own rebellion. He'd shield the two from discovery and allow the hybrid to 'slip from custody' when releasing agent 319. Hopefully he'd be able to hide the hybrid's escape just long enough to stage a complete and total loss of the hybrid's body. An accident in the lab and a failed fire-suppression system should hopefully convince them that their experiment was over.
As for turning the tide of his species' obsession with science and lack of compassion...he'd start campaigning once they returned home. But he'd be careful not to reveal the hybrid's continued existence. For it would likely be a long time before his people would change enough to realize their mistake. Resolved, he watched them a few more moments, his thoughts turning to his own loved one waiting back home.
*X*
Days went by, Alex fed and cared for Mulder with a tenderness that amazed both Mulder and himself. The older man carefully revealed that he did in fact know of his planned termination and Alex quickly informed him of his plans to help him escape. The two conspired every possible moment, but got nowhere.
Mulder got stronger and the ship got closer to Earth. When at last they approached the planet, Alex and Mulder were surprised to find an ally among the aliens. He (the alien didn't give them a name) revealed his plans and reasons in a clipped fashion and before they could even fully understand that they were being helped to escape, they found themselves laying in a large field by a forest. Looking up they saw the ship soar through the sky and disappear.
Krycek shakily rose to his feet and walked over to Mulder who lay dazed. "Fox, you okay?"
"Yeah...I just...I can't believe I'm finally home..." Mulder ceased to care about images and just started quietly sobbing as he clutched tufts of grass in his hands and seemed to be trying to embrace the Earth.
Krycek felt uncomfortable at the display of emotions, but could completely understand his feelings. He, too, couldn't believe they were finally back on their own planet. 'Ah, fuck it, I wanna hug the ground, too.' He got down on his hands and knees and clutched at the grass, then dropped and rolled in it. Mulder quieted down and then grinning he rolled, too. Laughing together they rolled until they tired of it and sat up just drinking in the sight of the great big trees surrounding them, listening to the birds that had cautiously begun to sing again now that the ufo had left.
"So...what now? We need some clothes and a roof over our heads..." Krycek trailed off, he was wondering if Mulder was going to spring up and want to find a pay phone to call Scully. He steeled himself.
"You're right, but I don't seem to have my American Express on me at the moment, what do we do?"
Alex's jaw nearly dropped to the ground. No mention of Scully and he was asking KRYCEK what to do?? He stared thunderstruck for a few moments and then snapped back into his old survival skills. "All right. I need to figure out where we are and get some money wired. I guess we're walking." Mulder docilely climbed to his feet and walked behind Alex, following him out towards what they hoped was civilization. They weren't exactly wearing the right shoes for hiking. Thin, white rubber soled shoes, but they were fairly tough and adequate for the job.
Luckily they weren't TOO far from civilization and soon found out they were in rural Missouri. Mulder was just glad they weren't in Oregon. He had been concerned that he'd bump into some familiar faces that would recognize him as an abductee. Fortunately the locals seemed to view them as odd tourists and ignored them. Mulder could swear he heard one mutter "New Yorkers" under his breath. Normally that kind of comment would have him grinning or coming up with a smart aleck comment, instead he found himself numb and extremely weary of the outside world. He let Alex take the lead in obtaining funds and a motel room. He was wondering when and what he would tell Alex about his...condition. 'Let the man rest a little. You can shock the hell out of him later. What if he wants to ditch me here?' Mulder started to panic. His breathing speeding up and his fists clenching.
They had just entered the motel room (they'd just automatically chosen to stick together in one room) when Alex recognized the signs of Mulder's panic attack. "Mulder? Mulder?! Fox! Don't do this to me. Slow down...breathe!" Alex glanced around the room frantically wondering what had caused this as Mulder's breathing became panicked gasps. Deciding there wasn't any immediate danger he sat Mulder down on the edge of the bed and decided to try to get through to him the only way he could think of.
^Fox! Shh...calm down, buddy. Breathe, Lisa!^ Mulder focused on Alex's 'voice' and slowly calmed down.
"Lisa?" he croaked when he at last could speak again.
"Uh, yeah. It's Fox in Russian. It got your attention, didn't it?" Alex stated defensively.
"No, it's not...I just realized something is all. And it's okay. Thanks."
"Oh, okay then. So, here drink some water..." he filled a plastic cup with tepid water, "...and tell me what caused that."
Sipping, Mulder wondered if he could put this off somehow. "It's nothing, I just freaked for no reason. Forget it."
"Uh, uh. No way. We're going to have to be honest with each other from now on. I won't tell you lies or keep anything from you and you do the same for me...deal?"
Mulder peaked up at Alex from under his eyelashes, keeping his face tipped downwards. "You're right. All right, but you're going to want to sit down for this."
"Okay, spill..." Alex said, not unkindly. He wondered what could upset Mulder this much after all they'd already been through.
"I'm pregnant."
"Ha, ha. Tell me, damn it."
Mulder grinned a little despite himself. "No, I'm serious. I'm pregnant. You knocked me up." He couldn't help smirking at that. If he could just maintain his sense of humor about the whole thing maybe he could prevent a complete and total nervous break down.
"Mulder I said no jokes. What the fuck are you talking about?!" Krycek's voice started low and menacing and ended extremely pissed off and just a little panicked.
The other man was starting to lose the humor of the situation and decided to quit trying to make light of the situation and speak plainly. "I'm not...human anymore. If I ever even was. My father...he let them...experiment on me. And the colonizers...they continued the experiments on the ship, apparently a new one. The rebels wanted to finish the experiment, to impregnate me and see what kind of offspring would result with a...a 'pure' human. They used your genetic material with my own." He stopped to see if this was sinking in with Krycek.
Krycek was just staring at him, his face closed off of all emotion. He seemed made of stone. Mulder wondered if he thought he'd completely lost it. Reaching out with his mind he felt confusion, anger, and horror. Slowly Alex seemed to clear his mind and he reached out and touched Mulder's clammy hand with his own warm one.
Mulder sighed, "They planned to see how well it takes, if it produces healthy baby and see the effects of the hybridization on the baby and any changes in my body as well. When it was over they planned to terminate me and the 'byproducts of experiment.'"
Krycek blanched at Mulder's words, but the truly worrying aspect of the speech was Mulder's flat emotionless tone as he spoke in a detached manner as if he was reading one of his case files, something not happening to him. "Mulder...I... Fuck." With that he leaned in and embraced the stiff body before him. Mulder managed to stiffen even more at first, then melted into the hug and laid his head on Alex's shoulder, letting the sobs break free.
His shoulder's shook and the sobs became louder and more heart wrenching. Alex wondered at the sheer amount of will it must have taken Mulder to keep from breaking completely before now. He was so good at keeping it together Alex realized that Mulder could have kept it to himself, but had decided deliberately to let it go now with Krycek. He trusted him that much. Alex was overwhelmed at the trust Mulder was showing him. He wondered at his own ability to give it back.
"Shh. It's okay. You're okay. We're safe, it's okay..." He murmured the words softly into the other man's ear. Platitudes they both knew to be false, but very necessary.
Finally, the sobs died down to hiccups. Alex patted his back, grinning inanely at the thought of doing this for a hiccupping Fox Mulder. It was just another absurd turn his life had taken since meeting this sexy, vulnerable, tough, crazy, spooky, loveable man. Damned if he didn't love the son of a bitch. Now what? The man was carrying his baby. A baby that wasn't a 100% human. Just like Fox wasn't. Shit. Damn. What the hell were they going to do? He had to take care of Mulder. Couldn't let him see how confused he was. Mulder'd gone through hell as it was, he had no one to turn to and he needed medical care and time to recuperate. And the baby. He didn't know what he was going to do with a baby.
Continued in Part 3