Unforeseen Complications 4
by Nikita
Title: "Unforeseen Complications, 4"
Author: Nikita
Spoiler: RatB
Warning: Slash, if you don't know what that means chances are you don't wanna know, go watch an x-file repeat and stay safe from my twisted version. Contains m/m hurt/comfort, romance, schmoop, and sex...at some point or another.
Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Files or any characters or plot lines associated with it. Chris Carter and the wonderful actors (especially Duchovny) do. I'm not making any profit off this story or the characters within. Don't bother suing, I'm a grad student with lots of student loans...I haven't got a penny.
XXX
I walked away from Mulder's apartment with mixed feelings. I felt a surging anger, at him for his insults, and myself for letting my anger show and also anger that I had to walk out and leave him there so he could do the job my employer wanted him to do. But with the anger I also felt a giddy energy. A bubbling feeling of hope coupled with nervous energy.
I rushed down the steps of his apartment's stairwell two at a time. Bursting out of the building I still glanced around cautiously, but I gave in to the impulse to jog to my car a couple of blocks away. Reaching my 'borrowed' vehicle I dropped down to my stomach and searched underneath. When I finished my inspection I hopped into the car and drove far slower than I wanted to in order to avoid cops.
Pulling in to a parking lot I called my patron on the payphone. "Krycek."
"Yes?"
"It's done."
"Did you succeed?"
"I believe so."
There was a pause and I regretted my choice of words. "I expect more certainty from you."
"He'll do it."
"You better hope so, Mr. Krycek. This mission is too important to accept failure." He hung up.
I jumped back in my car and finally decided to pull into an all night diner, too keyed up to go home to my tiny little apartment.
Drinking entirely too much coffee and eating a disgusting donut, I finally give up and drive back to his apartment. Parking a good distance away, I then walk to the building across the street from his and slip into the shadows, waiting.
After a few hours I see Scully drive Mulder home to his apartment. They speak briefly before he exits and walks up the stairs of his apartment, none to steadily. Scully watches from the car until she sees his light go on inside his apartment and he waves. She pulls away slowly.
I wait a few minutes and then jog up the steps. I knock on his door. 'Why not do something different, after all?' He answers without checking his peephole. 'Sloppy, Mulder. What is wrong with you?'
Mulder looks at me for a moment, his face blank, then a sudden flash of recognition dawns on his face, but that, too quickly disappears and his face returns to it's tired blank expression. 'Jesus, what did they do to him?'
He steps back and walks to his couch, leaving the door wide open without saying a word. I enter and close the door, locking and bolting it. For all the good it would do.
Sitting down next to him cautiously, I get a look into his eyes and see that they are dilated, despite the dim light.
"Mulder? Are you all right?" He continues to stare at me for a moment and then slowly nods. His face is sweaty and his clothes are disheveled. I feel a cold sweat break out on the back of my neck. 'What the fuck have I gotten him into?'
"What happened?"
He shrugs. "I don't know." He stares over my shoulder a moment and then looks back at me, "I don't know..." he looks so lost.
I tentatively raise my hand and touch his cheek, he doesn't react, the skin is cold and clammy. 'How could Scully leave him alone like this?' I stand and hold my hand out. "You're in shock. Come on, you need to get clean and warm." He accepts my help without protest. My worry increases, but I'm grateful that he doesn't fight me. I lead him down the hall to his bathroom. Turning the light on I see a fairly clean bathroom, though it is a bit bare. I pull back the shower curtain and turn on the water, letting it warm up. Turning back I see Mulder standing in the middle of the room, his eyes on me, but not focused. He is still wearing his suit jacket. I notice a bruise on his forehead and I feel a sudden surge of shame. I put that there when I rammed him into his desk. I swallow the feeling down and turn back to flip the shower on. I turn to leave, but Mulder is still staring vacantly where I had stood a moment ago. There's no way he's going to snap out of it and get in the shower on his own.
I reach a hand out and touch his cheek once more. "Mulder? Do you want some help?" I ask as quietly and gently as I can. He blinks and looks into my eyes, his are still dilated, the ring around his pupils is green. He nods slowly once more. I tug off his jacket, he helps minimally, but needs prompting for each article of clothing. Finally he stands naked in the center of his bathroom. Still, he does not budge towards the shower. It was going to be cold soon. I sigh and begin to strip off my own clothes, watching him cautiously. He doesn't react. This is pretty disturbing. He is facing the shower curtain and I am standing behind him. When I'm naked I finally unbuckle my prosthetic arm and lay it on the pile of clothes on his sink. I then slowly approach him from behind and guide him to the shower. He docilely obeys.
Inside the shower I appreciate the hot sting of the water. I reach around Mulder and grab the shampoo. "Hold out your hand, Mulder." He obeys without question, still facing ahead of me. I squirt the shampoo in his hand that is raised to his shoulder and then set down the bottle. I scoop out most of the shampoo from his hand and start rubbing it into his hair. He sighs slightly and tilts his head back. I enjoy the feel of his wet hair, and his soft skin that is slowly warming up under the hot torrent.
Rinsing his hair I quickly scrub my own head with the leftover shampoo. I gently push him to the side so I can stick my own head directly under the spray and he steps back, finally seeing me for the first time since we undressed. He stares numbly at my stump. I ignore it and scrub the last of the shampoo out. Reaching for the soap I hesitate. He doesn't react so I start to lather him up. He continues to stare, as I wash him. I am reaching behind him to scrub his back when I feel his fingers hesitantly touch my left shoulder. I freeze, my heart thudding painfully. The water continues to beat down on us.
I slowly lean back and look at his face, ready to stop and get out of the shower. He looks up at me, his lashes dotted with drops of water. His eyes are slightly less dilated and a mossy green. I can't tell, but I think he's crying.
"Al- Alex. I didn't...I didn't know about..." he gestures at my stump. I swallow hard and move to get out of the tub. He grabs my shoulders and I flinch, hating myself for it.
"No, don't...I didn't know earlier tonight I mean..." I nod briskly and turn to open the curtain.
"Wait! I...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..." he reaches out and slides his arms around my waist, pulling me into a fierce hug, sobbing.
I hesitate, but then hug him back. The water is becoming a little less hot so I break the embrace to rinse him us off and turn the water off. He steps back slightly, his expression open and hurt. I step out of the tub and then reach back to hold out my hand. He grabs it gratefully and steps out.
I grab a towel and dry him off. As I reach for another one, he grabs it from my hand and starts to dry me off. More gentle than I had been a moment before. I avoid his eyes and reach for my clothes on the sink. He puts his hand out and grabs his robe hanging on the back of the door instead. He holds it out for me to step into and I do, feeling awkward. The left arm hangs empty, I glance at my prosthesis, but leave it where it lies.
He wraps his towel around his hips and I watch enviously. So many things one takes for granted with two arms...
He seems far more himself than he did when I came in so I wonder why he isn't kicking me out. He walks into his bedroom and I trail behind him hesitantly.
His room is messy, but better than the last time I was here. He dumps his laundry off the bed and slides into the bed, he holds the covers open for me. He says nothing, but his eyes plead with mine. I decide to ignore the screaming voices in my head and climb in. He immediately scoots closer and lays his head on my shoulder. Whatever they did to him...drugs, hypnosis, mind wipe...all of the above...it suddenly takes its toll on him and he falls asleep. I lay there in his bed once more...somewhere I never thought I'd be again and I stare at his ceiling.
I must have fallen asleep because I woke to the sound of my cell phone. He's still on my shoulder, snoring softly so I carefully slide out from under him. He continues to sleep, dead to the world.
I answer the phone. My patron is demanding my presence immediately. I dress hurriedly, my prosthetic arm in place once more, and slip back into the bedroom for one more glance before going. I see him curled up in the bed and worry that my leaving will cause him to wake up with nightmares once more. I give in to the impulse and lean down to kiss his forehead. He nuzzles up to my lips and opens his eyes. 'Shit!'
His eyes glitter in the dark. "Leaving?" he is wide awake now, his voice cold. I close my eyes and then open them and nod. "I have to." He nods and climbs out of bed.
"Don't, Mulder. You still need to rest." He brushes off my words.
"You know I can't sleep in here...I'm just going to the couch." He plops down on the couch and closes his eyes. I should just leave, but I walk over and leaning down I kiss him on the forehead again. His eyes open and he grabs my hand, kissing it. I blink back tears that will NOT be leaving my eyes and turn around and walk out the door brusquely. I practically run out of his building and to my car.
I will NOT let this affect me.
XXX
Continued in Part 5